• That Which Shall Never Be Spoken of Again

    Somewhere in the last 5 years, my definition for what is gross has gotten pretty narrow.  With Birdy, I was all, “OMG, she can’’t be on a floor that isn’’t sanitized and spotless.  What if she finds a grain of sand? Are our floors organic!?!”   With The Professor, it was more like, “Eh, Birdy ate sandbox sand and survived. His shots are up to date, right?”  By the time we got to WTWhammy, I’’d relaxed so much that ‘Identify the Mystery Object in the Diaper’ had all but become a polite parlor game reserved for fancy dinner parties.  WTFather once presented me with a dirty WTWhammy diaper containing pink-glitter, pieces of green crayon, and a price tag that read CLEARANCE $4.47. It was impressive.  Parenting CHANGES you.

    So it wasn’t that surprising that I shrugged off Birdy’’s first LICE LETTER.  Hand, Foot and Mouth phone calls didn’’t faze me at all.  I have a reputation for being the mom who doesn’’t care if your kids are slimy on play-group day.  No rash, no fever, no problem is the WTFamily motto.

    And then…..

    Something happened last week that shook the foundation of my very identity as the laid-back mom:
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    October 7, 2014 • Confessions, For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 8672

  • Confession: The Doll of Horror

    Confession: My father-in-law bought my daughter a doll that plays peek a boo. It was totally adorable until it started going off randomly and scaring the piss out of me. And I swear it was demon possessed because it would go off beside me in the kitchen, then show up in the bathroom, then pop up under the baby’s crib. It TRAVELED, people.

    It survived an “accidental” washing, an “accidental” overnight in the rain, and an “accidental” trip down the basement stairs. Well, this morning when I was taking clothes out of the hamper, it popped up again for. the. last. time. If it shows back up again after a trip in a garbage truck, you’ll find me huddled and rocking in some random church.


    Little Mommy Hide & Peek Doll.  Destroy on sight.  Do not show mercy.

    July 10, 2014 • Confessions • Views: 1049