From the Desk of WTMother

  • Birdy Upped Her Daddy-game.

    Birdy is MASTERFUL at working her dad. Masterful, I tell you. If that little girl wants something or something to happen, she will will it so; usually through her dad.

    I can’t pretend to be shocked by this. She gets this one honestly from me. I’ve never been one to take being told no very well. I just regroup, pivot, and go at things from a different direction. But this little one? The student has become the teacher.

    Case in point: Birdy has been lobbying for a trip to Disney World on a plane, for over a year. Explaining to a 6 year old that plane tickets, park passes, food, etc. etc. aren’t free and that the logistics of pulling it off without TOTAL CHAOS are nil-to-zilch, especially when one of the 5 is still refusing to join the civilized world of going on the big-boy potty (cough WTWhammy cough) isn’t exactly an easy ask. We’re working toward it for sure, but a WTFellers 5 Go to Disney post isn’t coming anytime soon; not when the cost of a week of admission alone is the about the same as a year’s worth of fancy private school tuition.  Add airfare and a hotel to that and you could buy three weeks alone at an adults-only all inclusive in Bali a nice reliable used car for the same money.

    Until now, she’s been using her typical-yet-astonishingly-effective tactics. She’s recruited her brothers in the game, written us notes, mentioned how nice it would be for us to all spend time together, let it drop that “literally every other kid in Kindergarten at Fancy Private School has already been… TWICE,” and offered to earn her way there by doing chores, being nice to her brothers (scroll to bottom for circa 2012 example of “nice to brother”), dancing for pay (the look on WTFather’s face when she mentioned this option MIGHT have been worth the price of a fast-pass upgrade) and selling her old toys in our annual garage sale. But this week, she took the game up to a new level of mastery. She pulled out Public Daddy-Shaming.

    Her Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. S, is ahhhmazing. She’s kind and hilarious and smart and perfect for my kid. She’s always coming up with clever assignments for the littles; her latest being writing and illustrating a book about your favorite toy (For Birdy, this is Ducky) having an experience that is similar to one that you’ve had recently. God knows she laughed her ass off when she tucked it into Birdy’s homework folder.

    I present for you: Ducky Wants to Go on an Airplane, written and illustrated by Birdygirl Fellers
    Alternate Title: My Daddy is Mean and Unreasonable, written and illustrated by Master of Daddy’s Heartstrings

    With Subtitles because Kindergarten-style “Brave Spelling” (click READ MORE below)

    Continue Reading

  • HB1337 Isn’t About Abortion: An Open Letter to Indiana Governor Mike Pence

    Even if you are a person who is adamantly anti abortion, read this. Then get mad. And then speak up. Women like me and families like mine need you to get mad then speak up. Because this is too far.

    On March 15th, while most of us were watching primary results to see who our next president might be, Indiana passed HB1337, the single most restrictive abortion access law in the United States. Governor Mike Pence is expected to sign it. Here is a link to the law so that you may read and interpret it yourself. HB 1337, State of Indiana


    Dear Governor Pence,

    I’m not going to talk to you about the morality of abortion.  I do not judge you nor do I hope to change your mind from one side to the other. Instead, I am asking you and your fellow leaders, no matter your stance, nor opinion, nor religious conviction, nor political affiliation to please, PLEASE stand up for me and women like me.

    You see, this law, if it was enacted in California prior to November 14th 2008, would have potentially been a death sentence for me. At best, I would have survived and been at risk of being a felon. Let me explain.

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    March 17, 2016 • From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 6754

  • That One Time when Warrior Moms Said #MeditateOnThis

    I’ve always been pretty open about my struggles with peri and post-natal mood and anxiety.  If you are unfamiliar with my story, you can read about it HERE. 

    This is why I stand with my warrior moms at Postpartum Progress in applauding the US Services Task Force in calling for all mothers to be screened for mood and anxiety disorders during and after pregnancy, and by raising my voice against the damaging statements made by those who make their living marginalizing those who need help.

    The second part of that statement was made necessary in part because of statements made by NYT Best-selling author, Marianne Willamson who went public with this little nugget of tin-foil hat-wearing ignorance:

    Original post HERE





    “CODE ALERT: U.S. Preventive Services Task Force says women should be “screened for depression” during and after pregnancy. Their answer, of course, is to “find the right medication.” And how many on the “Task Force” are on big pharma’s payroll? Follow the money on this one. Hormonal changes during and after pregnancy are NORMAL. Mood changes are NORMAL. Meditation helps. Prayer helps. Nutritional support helps. Love helps.”

    Remarkably, she goes on to defend her stance in offensive replies like this after thousands of numerous objections:

    “Depressed women are like canary [sic] in a coal mine. We are often depressed because something is wrong that needs to be made right, and what is wrong is not always what is inside us. Postpartum depression, example, is often a result of a woman’s heartbreak over having to go back to work sooner than her body, mind and heart are ready to,” says Williamson. “It’s a can of worms that needs to be open.”


    It would be an understatement to say it didn’t go over well in Internetland.











    There was this impassioned plea from Jill at Baby Rabies:


    This is in response to everyone who has ever said that postpartum mood disorders aren’t real, and that women are being tricked by Big Pharma into numbing themselves. It’s a response to every person who has told a struggling mother to do more yoga, pray more, eat better, get more sleep. It’s a response to anyone who has ever made a mother feel shame for needing medication to get to shore. This is personal, you guys. This is my raw story. This is my truth.More in today's blog post, including the video transcript-

    Posted by Baby Rabies on Thursday, January 28, 2016


    Miranda from Caffeine and Cabernet and Postpartum Progress went with a picture of a thousand strong words:
    Original Post HERE:












    Canadians, who were already waging their own #BellLetsTalk hashtag campaign to raise PPD/PPA awareness dropped what they were doing and joined their sisters to the south in saying “No more.”
    Huffington Post CA has a post all about it HERE:

    See highlights from the epic Clapback HERE.















    Morgan from BuzzFeed & The818 said “Walk on.”
    See her meme game HERE.

    She Knows said “Good day, Sir!”
    See their thoughts here.

    Kveller was all, “Bye Felicia.”
    Buh bye now.

    I could go on and on and on and on.  As of 7pm Central, January 28th, 2016, there were over 2.5 million uses of the #MeditateOnThis hashtag by Social Users, including bloggers who account for more than 100 million social followers. That’s one third of the US.

    And I couldn’t be prouder of my tribe.

    January 28, 2016 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3012

  • That Which Shall Never Be Spoken of Again

    Somewhere in the last 5 years, my definition for what is gross has gotten pretty narrow.  With Birdy, I was all, “OMG, she can’’t be on a floor that isn’’t sanitized and spotless.  What if she finds a grain of sand? Are our floors organic!?!”   With The Professor, it was more like, “Eh, Birdy ate sandbox sand and survived. His shots are up to date, right?”  By the time we got to WTWhammy, I’’d relaxed so much that ‘Identify the Mystery Object in the Diaper’ had all but become a polite parlor game reserved for fancy dinner parties.  WTFather once presented me with a dirty WTWhammy diaper containing pink-glitter, pieces of green crayon, and a price tag that read CLEARANCE $4.47. It was impressive.  Parenting CHANGES you.

    So it wasn’t that surprising that I shrugged off Birdy’’s first LICE LETTER.  Hand, Foot and Mouth phone calls didn’’t faze me at all.  I have a reputation for being the mom who doesn’’t care if your kids are slimy on play-group day.  No rash, no fever, no problem is the WTFamily motto.

    And then…..

    Something happened last week that shook the foundation of my very identity as the laid-back mom:
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    October 7, 2014 • Confessions, For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 8672

  • Fall! Lice! Typhoid!


    momdaughter1Fall is here.  She was not announced by the turning of leaves or a new crispness to the air.  She didn’t ease gently out of summer like a well-scripted movie.  Oh no.  Because Fall, while my favorite season, is kind of a betch that way.  She always surprises us, leaving us with a million things we meant to do over the summer that will now have to be put off until next summer.  This year, she upped her game. I know this because not only did she surprise us, she announced herself via a raging head cold and a letter from school notifying us of a lice infestation.  Because there’s no denying that fall is here once everyone has itchy scalps and head-colds.  Thanks, Fall!
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    September 22, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3126

  • Friday Funnies: 5 Things Making Me Laugh This Week

    Here are the top 5 things making me laugh or smile extra hard this week:

    1) The Professor asking our mailman (Our poor mailman…) if he had a big penis and Popsicles like The Professor, or a little penis and Popsicles like WTWhammy.  (Also, the fact that The Professor calls testicles “Popsicles” is never, ever going to get old.) Continue Reading

    September 5, 2014 • For Your Consideration, Friday Funnies, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3308

  • Dear Birdygirl on Your 5th Birthday,

    I hear you, Association!  WTFellers have I been? What about the update to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge? When are we going to hear about OPRAH?!? What is going on?   

    To say things have been chaotic would be an understatement.  The plague descended upon our home, rendering WTFather Man Sick. The Professor has entered some sort of clingy phase that is currently standing fast at level Let Me Back Into Your Ute.  School started and WTFather and I Birdy has homework every. single. night. Preschool, people. There was a holiday weekend which meant I had to clean my house my family was in town to visit.  And last, but certainly not least, my bitty baby Birdygirl turned FIVE!  Whaaaaat?  So because we all know who runs this show what is close to my heart, this one had to come first.  So please indulge me while I brag about my awesome kid send a shout out to my biggest little.  Hit the jump for a best-of Birdyisms and stories from her 5th year.

    Dear Birdygirl,

    Today you turn five.  I don’t know how 5 years went so quickly, and yet I feel as if you’ve always been here.  Maybe it’s because I really, truly, am so damn tired that my long term memory has been affected feel as if my life started when yours did? I’m sure you’d prefer a  less sentimental reason. You aren’t a very sentimental child.  But that’s okay.  You’re still the most awesome Birdygirl I know.
    Continue Reading

  • We Need to Talk: Depression & Suicide

    Today’s post was supposed to be about registries and preparing for bringing home baby.  But the passing of Robin Williams by his own hand has left me feeling a heaviness that I can’t shake. The world just seems a little less funny today.

    Many of you know I studied at Second City. I did it as a hobby. It was never to be on THE stage. I was new to Chicago.  My first apartment was just a few blocks from the school.  I signed up on a whim thinking it would be an easy way to meet new friends and spend a few nights a week having a great laugh.  I loved every minute I spent Continue Reading

    August 13, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 4778

  • World Breastfeeding Week! (Or How to Not Be an Assclown About Breastfeeding)

    For every person out there who reads things carefully and takes a small moment of consideration before hitting “share” on their Social Media platform of choice there are approximately 995,781 others who are all “Cool headline! OMG Obama! Boo GOP! The children, think of the children!” and click share a few million times. Continue Reading

    August 5, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3225

  • From the Desk of WTMother: Dear (6-Weeks-Before-the-Birth-of-Birdy) Angela

    Dear Six-Weeks-to-Go-Before-the-Baby-Comes Angela,

    This is WTMother.  I’m you in a few years.  I’m pretty sure if you met me in person, you’d think I was a total freak-show.  I’m okay with that.  I know you’ve read every book and talked to all of your new mommy friends.  The nursery is in place. (It really is beautiful, by the way.) You’ve picked out an elegant, well-thought-out name for our baby girl, (You aren’t going to ever call her that, but good effort!) Your hospital bag is packed, and you are feeling great about this impending motherhood thing.  But hear me out anyway, because there are some things I really want you to know so that my your life is a little easier. Continue Reading

    July 24, 2014 • From the Desk of WTMother, Letters to Angela • Views: 2402