I just had a heart to heart with the daughter of a good friend. She’s about to go off to college, so I was telling her things that, if they came from her mom, she would ignore (yay for knowing everything at 18!) Things like don’t drink the punch, don’t do crack, don’t register for Friday labs… how college is basically like summer camp with alcohol… the important stuff… anywho. Continue Reading
The Professor: “Mommy! I get emenemenemenem?”
Me: “Yay! Professor! Did you go in the potty?!?!?”
Birdy from the other room: “NO! He did not GO in the potty. He peed on me! And in the hallway! No M&M’s! He IS NOT GOOD AT THIS, MOMMY! This is NOT a good idea!”
Me: Professor, did you pee on your sister?
The Professor: “Yeah! Yay Professor!!!! Emenemenemenem for Professor!!!! YAY PROFESSOR!”
Birdy and her little friend are in the kitchen snacking on hard boiled eggs.
The Professor: Professor wants a egg! Professor egg too!
Birdy: Here, Professor , have an egg!
The Professor: Tank you, Birdy!
Me: **doing mental math, then yelling from living room** “Birdy! The eggs in the door aren’t hard-boiled. They’re raw.”
Birdy: “I know.”
Me: “Then why are you giving one to your brother?”
Birdy: “Because I can. **pause** And it’s funny.”
Birdy: But Daddy, I NEED this new pretty dress.
WTFather: No, Birdy. I think you have enough pretty dresses.
Birdy: No I don’t. I don’t have enough.
WTFather: How many do you have?
Birdy: One less than enough.
Well played, kiddo. Well played.