First Time Mom
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  • Fall! Lice! Typhoid!

     

    momdaughter1Fall is here.  She was not announced by the turning of leaves or a new crispness to the air.  She didn’t ease gently out of summer like a well-scripted movie.  Oh no.  Because Fall, while my favorite season, is kind of a betch that way.  She always surprises us, leaving us with a million things we meant to do over the summer that will now have to be put off until next summer.  This year, she upped her game. I know this because not only did she surprise us, she announced herself via a raging head cold and a letter from school notifying us of a lice infestation.  Because there’s no denying that fall is here once everyone has itchy scalps and head-colds.  Thanks, Fall!
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    September 22, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3206

  • Friday Funnies: 5 Things Making Me Laugh This Week

    Here are the top 5 things making me laugh or smile extra hard this week:

    1) The Professor asking our mailman (Our poor mailman…) if he had a big penis and Popsicles like The Professor, or a little penis and Popsicles like WTWhammy.  (Also, the fact that The Professor calls testicles “Popsicles” is never, ever going to get old.) Continue Reading

    September 5, 2014 • For Your Consideration, Friday Funnies, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3373

  • Dear Birdygirl on Your 5th Birthday,

    I hear you, Association!  WTFellers have I been? What about the update to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge? When are we going to hear about OPRAH?!? What is going on?   

    To say things have been chaotic would be an understatement.  The plague descended upon our home, rendering WTFather Man Sick. The Professor has entered some sort of clingy phase that is currently standing fast at level Let Me Back Into Your Ute.  School started and WTFather and I Birdy has homework every. single. night. Preschool, people. There was a holiday weekend which meant I had to clean my house my family was in town to visit.  And last, but certainly not least, my bitty baby Birdygirl turned FIVE!  Whaaaaat?  So because we all know who runs this show what is close to my heart, this one had to come first.  So please indulge me while I brag about my awesome kid send a shout out to my biggest little.  Hit the jump for a best-of Birdyisms and stories from her 5th year.

    Dear Birdygirl,

    Today you turn five.  I don’t know how 5 years went so quickly, and yet I feel as if you’ve always been here.  Maybe it’s because I really, truly, am so damn tired that my long term memory has been affected feel as if my life started when yours did? I’m sure you’d prefer a  less sentimental reason. You aren’t a very sentimental child.  But that’s okay.  You’re still the most awesome Birdygirl I know.
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  • We Need to Talk: Depression & Suicide

    Today’s post was supposed to be about registries and preparing for bringing home baby.  But the passing of Robin Williams by his own hand has left me feeling a heaviness that I can’t shake. The world just seems a little less funny today.

    Many of you know I studied at Second City. I did it as a hobby. It was never to be on THE stage. I was new to Chicago.  My first apartment was just a few blocks from the school.  I signed up on a whim thinking it would be an easy way to meet new friends and spend a few nights a week having a great laugh.  I loved every minute I spent Continue Reading

    August 13, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 4898

  • World Breastfeeding Week! (Or How to Not Be an Assclown About Breastfeeding)

    For every person out there who reads things carefully and takes a small moment of consideration before hitting “share” on their Social Media platform of choice there are approximately 995,781 others who are all “Cool headline! OMG Obama! Boo GOP! The children, think of the children!” and click share a few million times. Continue Reading

    August 5, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3338

  • She Likes Me! She Really, Really Likes Me!

    Hey, all!  Today I’m a guest over on Super-Blogger Pregnant Chicken’s site.  If you haven’t been over there yet, click here when you’re done hanging out with me. There’s a solid chance this post will go up before that one, so if you’re a member of the Association of Accidental Assclowns, give her a bit to wake up, get her Tim Horton’s on, drink some Molson Ice, meditate on Gretzky or whatever it is Canadians do to start their day.   It’s a great site about real parenting and real pregnancy.  You aren’t going to find any posts over there about the beauty of creating life or about how if you don’t devote 100% of your mind/body/spirit to your children you aren’t a good mom.  Also there’s a lot of cussing.  And inappropriate comments.  And other things that make me feel like Amy and I are going to be like bffs for-ev-ah.  She’s like a Canadian WTMother.  Only she’s the super successful, well-established, and really, REALLY polite version. You know.  Because, Canadian.

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    July 30, 2014 • I Get Around • Views: 2655

  • From the Desk of WTMother: Dear (6-Weeks-Before-the-Birth-of-Birdy) Angela

    Dear Six-Weeks-to-Go-Before-the-Baby-Comes Angela,

    This is WTMother.  I’m you in a few years.  I’m pretty sure if you met me in person, you’d think I was a total freak-show.  I’m okay with that.  I know you’ve read every book and talked to all of your new mommy friends.  The nursery is in place. (It really is beautiful, by the way.) You’ve picked out an elegant, well-thought-out name for our baby girl, (You aren’t going to ever call her that, but good effort!) Your hospital bag is packed, and you are feeling great about this impending motherhood thing.  But hear me out anyway, because there are some things I really want you to know so that my your life is a little easier. Continue Reading

    July 24, 2014 • From the Desk of WTMother, Letters to Angela • Views: 2467