wuck
Posts

  • That Which Shall Never Be Spoken of Again

    Somewhere in the last 5 years, my definition for what is gross has gotten pretty narrow.  With Birdy, I was all, “OMG, she can’’t be on a floor that isn’’t sanitized and spotless.  What if she finds a grain of sand? Are our floors organic!?!”   With The Professor, it was more like, “Eh, Birdy ate sandbox sand and survived. His shots are up to date, right?”  By the time we got to WTWhammy, I’’d relaxed so much that ‘Identify the Mystery Object in the Diaper’ had all but become a polite parlor game reserved for fancy dinner parties.  WTFather once presented me with a dirty WTWhammy diaper containing pink-glitter, pieces of green crayon, and a price tag that read CLEARANCE $4.47. It was impressive.  Parenting CHANGES you.

    So it wasn’t that surprising that I shrugged off Birdy’’s first LICE LETTER.  Hand, Foot and Mouth phone calls didn’’t faze me at all.  I have a reputation for being the mom who doesn’’t care if your kids are slimy on play-group day.  No rash, no fever, no problem is the WTFamily motto.

    And then…..

    Something happened last week that shook the foundation of my very identity as the laid-back mom:
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    October 7, 2014 • Confessions, For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 8786

  • Fall! Lice! Typhoid!

     

    momdaughter1Fall is here.  She was not announced by the turning of leaves or a new crispness to the air.  She didn’t ease gently out of summer like a well-scripted movie.  Oh no.  Because Fall, while my favorite season, is kind of a betch that way.  She always surprises us, leaving us with a million things we meant to do over the summer that will now have to be put off until next summer.  This year, she upped her game. I know this because not only did she surprise us, she announced herself via a raging head cold and a letter from school notifying us of a lice infestation.  Because there’s no denying that fall is here once everyone has itchy scalps and head-colds.  Thanks, Fall!
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    September 22, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3206

  • World Breastfeeding Week! (Or How to Not Be an Assclown About Breastfeeding)

    For every person out there who reads things carefully and takes a small moment of consideration before hitting “share” on their Social Media platform of choice there are approximately 995,781 others who are all “Cool headline! OMG Obama! Boo GOP! The children, think of the children!” and click share a few million times. Continue Reading

    August 5, 2014 • For Your Consideration, From the Desk of WTMother • Views: 3338

  • She Likes Me! She Really, Really Likes Me!

    Hey, all!  Today I’m a guest over on Super-Blogger Pregnant Chicken’s site.  If you haven’t been over there yet, click here when you’re done hanging out with me. There’s a solid chance this post will go up before that one, so if you’re a member of the Association of Accidental Assclowns, give her a bit to wake up, get her Tim Horton’s on, drink some Molson Ice, meditate on Gretzky or whatever it is Canadians do to start their day.   It’s a great site about real parenting and real pregnancy.  You aren’t going to find any posts over there about the beauty of creating life or about how if you don’t devote 100% of your mind/body/spirit to your children you aren’t a good mom.  Also there’s a lot of cussing.  And inappropriate comments.  And other things that make me feel like Amy and I are going to be like bffs for-ev-ah.  She’s like a Canadian WTMother.  Only she’s the super successful, well-established, and really, REALLY polite version. You know.  Because, Canadian.

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    July 30, 2014 • I Get Around • Views: 2655

  • From the Desk of WTMother: Dear (6-Weeks-Before-the-Birth-of-Birdy) Angela

    Dear Six-Weeks-to-Go-Before-the-Baby-Comes Angela,

    This is WTMother.  I’m you in a few years.  I’m pretty sure if you met me in person, you’d think I was a total freak-show.  I’m okay with that.  I know you’ve read every book and talked to all of your new mommy friends.  The nursery is in place. (It really is beautiful, by the way.) You’ve picked out an elegant, well-thought-out name for our baby girl, (You aren’t going to ever call her that, but good effort!) Your hospital bag is packed, and you are feeling great about this impending motherhood thing.  But hear me out anyway, because there are some things I really want you to know so that my your life is a little easier. Continue Reading

    July 24, 2014 • From the Desk of WTMother, Letters to Angela • Views: 2467

  • I Just Wuck Up a Lot

    I just had a heart to heart with the daughter of a good friend. She’s about to go off to college, so I was telling her things that, if they came from her mom, she would ignore (yay for knowing everything at 18!) Things like don’t drink the punch, don’t do crack, don’t register for Friday labs…   how college is basically like summer camp with alcohol… the important stuff… anywho. Continue Reading

    July 18, 2014 • Shorts • Views: 1618